They put what in my cheeseburger? – The York Daily Record

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via They put what in my cheeseburger? – The York Daily Record.

York College PA~Casino Night

Had a blast at the CAB sponsered Casino Night!  Tesla and I played Texas Hold’em, Roulette, and Blackjack.  Our favorite game was Blackjack.  We lost our $50,000 each in no time back to the house.  Everyone who attended was having a great time.  The event atmosphere was very close to that of a casino.  There were flashing lights, two huge tv screens with music videos, real gaming tables with dealers.  CAB really impressed me with a great night of fun giving the feeling of being a highroller.  It was great fun on campus for everyone. ~P.

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wanting the rules changed

Even though I’m volunteering at Tesla’s school tomorrow, I’m not “allowed” to take her home right after school at 3:15PM.  John said he is “not making a habit of letting me have Tesla on Fridays.”  What the hell…he’s not making a habit of letting me see her at all!

Well, at first I was told I had to bring her right back to the house to change clothes and for me to sign a paper stating that she was permitted to leave early with me.   When I told him over the phone all that was unnecessary and that Tesla will remember all this bullshit he puts us through….

He  responded via text: Only thing she’s gonna remember is you constantly wanting the rules changed to suit you so if that’s all you gonna do then you can wait til 5 o’clock to get her at the house.

This man seriously does not see how his actions are affecting Tesla.

So far, he has ignored my responses to his text.

1. “Just let her leave with me.  There is no need for paper signing or clothes changing.  That is your hang up.  I can stop before I go in and sign your release.  Don’t let her wear clothes that you are so worried about.  Then there is no reason for me to drive her back to there and sign in front of her.

2. Do not punish Tesla by making her wait to leave at 5 PM.  There is no reason.

3. Are you sending in the note?  Yes or no?

Most likely, I won’t hear anything from him and he will make Tesla and I abide by HIS wishes.  Self-centered as always.

~P.

Dear Doug~ Let’s move it already

Note the date on this letter from my lawyer to John’s.  We never received a response.  This is why it is dragging on forever.

Dear John~Bitterman

Dear John,

You are the former love of my life.

Let’s just be honest here.  Now you are a bitter man.

It’s the only explanation I can come up with that makes sense.

Why else, when I request to see our child would you refuse?

Yesterday you said Tesla had nothing going on after school today that I could “go to watch”.  I asked then to have Tesla after school and immediately you said “We’re to busy, the other kids have lacrosse and ….”  When you were done with your lame ass answer to why Tesla couldn’t go with me I said, “I don’t care what Heather’s kids are doing, I want to see my kid.”

So this afternoon I texted you about getting Tesla and you texted back, “We have plans tonight.”

Me- You said tt didn’t have anything going on…the other kids did.”

J-“I forgot we have company coming over for dinner tonight.”

Me-Yeah…it was SO important u forgot about it.  Like Tesla would care either if she were given the opportunity to say what she wants to do tonight…anyone can see u r keeping tt from me.”

J-“and can’t you see that I make exceptions to the order all the time.”

Me-Not really.  She could spend more time with me.  It would not hurt anyone.  Not that u would agree.

J-“apparently you never read the order in which states every other weekend.”

Me- Yes..but that can be changed so she can see me more.  U can explain y she isn’t allowed to see me more.  I know why…cause u feel u must control people.  Ur selfish and bitter.

I didn’t get any response after that.  He feels the court order entitles him to limit our time together.

So John…let’s see how much time you have allowed Tesla to see me (as long as I signed a paper stating I understand this is not something that you will allow to happen regularly because you wouldn’t want a pattern forming of your child spending time with her mother.)

Adding up all the hours you have allowed me to spend with Tesla, without you present since this custody order was put in place in November comes to a grand total of: 15 hours  It’s all documented to keep me in my place.

You “allowed” Tesla and I 15 hours together, always under the condition that I return her to our house by the stated time or you will notify the police.  Really, it does feel like I pick her up from prison and return her to her warden.  John, your law enforcement career ended years ago.  You aren’t a prison guard anymore….stop treating the people in your life like they are your ward.

Still doing time,

~P.

3 black teens sentenced to death in Harrisburg PA

In 1968 two teenagers from Pittsburgh, PA traveled into Harrisburg, PA on the run for robbery.  Samuel Barlow was 18 and Foster Tarver was 17.  They were at the house of Sharon Wiggins, also 17, who wanted to join them on the run.  The three teenagers robbed a bank in Harrisburg and a customer, George S. Morelock, age 64 was shot by Wiggins and Tarver and died.

A.W. Castle, an off-duty officer helped capture the teens.  All three pleaded guilty to murder and were to be sentenced by a panel of three Dauphin County judges.  Carl B. Shelley, R. Dixon Herman, and William W. Lipsitt were the judges that sentenced the teens to the death penalty.

LeRoy S. Zimmerman was the Dauphin County District Attorney in 1968 and did not seek the death penalty due to the teen’s circumstances.  The NAACP protested the imposed sentence and it was later reduced to life in prison.  All three prisoners are alive and remain behind bars.

FULL STORY BELOW from Harrisburg Patriot News

One deadly moment

by Nancy Eshelman
Harrisburg wasn’t so much a destination as an escape for three teens who drove east from Pittsburgh in November 1968.    Things were heating up in Pittsburgh for Samuel Barlow, 18, and Foster Tarver, 17. The pair had robbed two savings and loans before a close call in a pawn shop sent them scurrying to a nearby house to hide.    Sharon Wiggins, 17, who lived in the house, begged to join Barlow and Tarver as they put 200 miles between themselves and the slums, the poverty, the absent fathers and the spotty schooling.    Their robberies had netted them money for drugs, clothes and music. They intended to hang out with people Tarver knew.    Looking back, Wiggins said, the days she spent in Harrisburg remain a blur.    “When I look back at it now, I’m not sure what’s real and what’s part of my imagination,” she said. “It’s almost like seeing something in a dream.”    Wiggins recalls alcohol and drugs, plenty of them — marijuana, cocaine, heroin, narcotic cough syrup, glue and sloe gin. She remembers the Thanksgiving Day high school football game between John Harris and William Penn.

On the morning of Dec. 2, 1968, she sat in a restaurant. She recalls crossing a street and walking into the Dauphin Deposit Trust Co. at 1006 Market St. about 9:35 a.m.    As she, Barlow and Tarver were robbing the bank, a customer grabbed her arm. She remembers struggling for her gun.    “I know that I shot him, but I don’t remember hearing the shot,” she said.    None of them realized the shots fired that day would have echoes that continue through today.    Occurring in the midst of the civil rights movement, the three’s initial death sentence sparked outrage.    But even after those embers cooled, the echoes of the actions that winter day continue as the three age behind bars, and those touched by the crime continue to be troubled by it.    For Wiggins, who has worked to make herself a far different person than the girl who entered the bank, details about the day that forever changed her life are few.    She remembers falling and getting up, getting into a car, getting out, getting into another car.    She has no recollection of bullets being fired at the car.    “I don’t remember hearing them. One thing I remember — them pulling me out of the car. I remember that.”    Later, she remembers lying in a cell. She couldn’t see Tarver, but she heard him ask — using her nickname — “Peachie, are you all right?”

‘This is a holdup’

The three dressed in gray pants and Wiggins wore a hat; the idea was to make the cops think the bank was held up by three young black men.    Harrisburg Police Cpl. Connie Briggs didn’t realize Wiggins was a woman until she was in custody, but bank employee Barbara J. Branyan said she knew right off.    “They all were in gray shirts, long sleeved shirts, and gray trousers, and the girl had a brown hat, a dark brown hat,” she testified.    Tarver jumped on the bank’s counter and put one foot on top of a glass partition. He said, “Stand back, this is a holdup,” said Charles Hilmer Jr., a bank employee who testified.    As Tarver stuffed cash into blue gym bags, Wiggins kept her gun on employees and customers. Barlow watched the door.    When George S. “Bill” Morelock, 64, retired operator of a city trucking firm, entered the bank, Wiggins told him to line up.    Instead, Morelock asked, “Do you know what you’re doing?” and moved toward Wiggins. She shot Morelock twice.    As Morelock fell into one of the bank offices, Tarver ran from a teller’s cage, reached over a partition and shot Morelock two more times, witnesses said.    Morelock was dead on arrival at Harrisburg Hospital.    The three then ran from the bank and witnesses saw them climb into a blue-and-white 1960 sedan.

Briggs and A.W. Castle III, a newlywed Lower Allen Twp. cop who had struggled with Barlow in front of the bank, gave chase.    Briggs gave Castle his service revolver and Castle fired two shots at the car, one shattering the rear window. When the three robbers ducked, the driver lost control.    The robbers’ car hit a stopped car at Cameron and Paxton. In their car, police found a .38 Smith and Wesson and a .38 National Arms Co. revolver — with four shells expended. They also found two blue gym bags stuffed with $70,157 stolen from the bank.    Looking back, Barlow said: “Sharon and I were basically innocents walking into a trap. She should have never been there. Well, none of us should have been there.”    A shocking sentence    Wiggins and Tarver were just 17 — juveniles under the law — and Barlow never fired his gun.    They decided to plead guilty to a charge of general murder and let a panel of three Dauphin County judges — Carl B. Shelley, R. Dixon Herman and William W. Lipsitt — decide their fate.    District Attorney LeRoy S. Zimmerman didn’t ask for the death penalty. He noted the Pittsburgh trio’s backgrounds: They grew up in the ghetto, mainly on public assistance, without jobs or high school educations.    Their lives were “a sad thing in our society, but this society must have order with law,” Zimmerman said.

After deliberating 40 minutes in June 1969, the judges shocked the courtroom by sentencing Wiggins, Tarver and Barlow to die.    The U.S. Supreme Court has since ruled that a jury must determine whether the facts in a death penalty case warrant imposition of the death penalty. But at the time, the judges’ quick decision prompted the NAACP to appeal to Gov. Raymond Shafer.    “This action by a Pennsylvania court stands as a bitter symbol to thousands of black citizens across the state who know the swiftness with which the death penalty is meted out to black offenders and the notorious and systematic reluctance of judges to attach a sentence of death to white offenders,” Byrd R. Brown, president of the Pittsburgh Chapter of the NAACP, wrote to the governor.    Within days, 35 members of the midstate clergy had signed a statement protesting the punishment.

In February 1971, Lipsitt, Shelley and Judge William Caldwell, who had replaced Herman, reduced the sentence to life after hearing about their background.    They might have been moved by what they heard, but they also noted that times had changed. Gov. Milton J. Shapp had taken office, bringing strong opposition to the death penalty with him.    Thirty-nine years later, the three remain in state prison.    Wiggins, believed to be the first woman sentenced to death in Dauphin County, has served more time than any other woman in the state prisons, the Department of Corrections said.    Turning her life around    The teenager who was Peachie is gone now. The high school dropout with the Afro is a Penn State University graduate with graying cornrows. She has earned a peer teaching certificate, learned cosmetology and worked as a prison mechanic for 20 years.    Although she had a heart attack at 44, she keeps busy running groups on anger management, criminology, parenting, self-esteem. She lives in a therapeutic community with 80 women, trying to help them prepare for life outside.    She’s sought nine times without success to have her sentence commuted to parole for life.

But Wiggins is trying again. Her packet includes a recommendation from Jerry Cleveland, a retired auto trades instructor who worked with Wiggins in the prison for 15 years.    “I have served over 27 years in corrections with both male and female offenders. … Ms. Wiggins is one of only two incarcerated individuals that I would step forward on behalf of and say that she does deserve this chance at freedom,” he wrote.    Nancy Sponeybarger, her former prison counselor, also praised Wiggins’ attempts to improve herself: “… I believe that she is absolutely no risk of ever again committing any type of crime.”    Wiggins wasn’t always a model prisoner. She escaped twice — in 1973 and 1975.    When she looks back at the girl she was at 17, Wiggins is shocked by what she didn’t know or understand.    “I think about it all the time. I think about that one moment,” Wiggins said.    “I try to get across to my group [of younger inmates] how important it is to think about the decisions you make. … It’s like dropping a pebble into a lake and all the people who are affected by it.”

An awakening

If Wiggins is the gregarious person who signs up for every program, masters it and then uses it to help others, Barlow is the self-taught, intelligent loner.    He avoids younger prisoners. Yet if Barlow ever leaves prison, he wants to work with young people, particularly young black men, to try to keep them from making similar mistakes.    In prison, they call veterans like him old heads. Laughing, he says he’s more of a dinosaur.    He wears bifocals, his beard is gray and several of his front teeth are missing, a reminder, he said, of months spent “in the hole” without a toothbrush.    Like Wiggins, Barlow is seeking a commutation, but admits his record inside is shaky. He’s not one to join programs. He claims he spent more than three years “in the hole” for refusing to comply with drug-testing requirements.    “The nature of jail is not to make anything of you. It’s just to warehouse you,” he said.    While Wiggins and Tarver said they used drugs before the robbery, Barlow claims he stayed away from drugs because he saw too much of that growing up.    Barlow didn’t testify in court, but he lashed out when he and the others were sentenced to additional time for robbery, conspiracy and illegally carrying a firearm, telling the judge the additional years were senseless.    Then he said: “I haven’t shot anyone. I want to tell you that I haven’t shot anyone.”

Initially, Barlow said he wasted his time in prison, but said he had an awakening in 1975.    Most of the prison population was attending a Sister Sledge concert. Barlow went to take a shower and came to the sudden realization that he alone could determine his future. If he was to survive, he would have to “elevate my mind beyond the penitentiary.”    The following year he became a Muslim.    “Religion,” he said, “is how you treat others,” not rituals and how you dress. “It’s not about going in the corner and pretending you’re better than somebody.”    He leads a simple life, often skipping meals.    He awakens at 4:30 a.m. and enjoys watching the sun rise, grateful for another day of life. He has no television or radio, calling them distractions.    What he treasures are books and his typewriter.    He spends his time working on the block for 42 cents an hour and creating history collages from photographs he copies from his books.    He believes a day will come when he will walk out of prison and follow his dream of preventing other young men from wasting their lives behind bars.    “I want out because I have a lot to do,” he said.

Preparing a challenge

Tarver chose not to be interviewed “because I’m seeking assistance to prepare and argue questions supported by the record of being illicitly sentenced to life imprisonment,” he wrote.    He said he plans to challenge the constitutionality of juveniles being sentenced to life without the possibility of parole.    Court records show that when he was arrested, Tarver had an eighth-grade education, five brothers and a sister and hadn’t seen his father in five years.    He also has argued in the courts over the years that he was high during the bank robbery. In court papers, he said his head was spinning and he couldn’t remember committing the robbery or shooting anyone.    A physician-psychiatrist testified that he believed Tarver had been under the influence of drugs, leaving his consciousness disturbed and his judgment impaired.    Higher courts didn’t buy that excuse.

Tarver wrote that he is not trying to shirk responsibility for what happened.    He said the “attempt to obtain relief from my life sentence by having the courts address legal errors isn’t denial, does not seek to excuse effect of taking Mr. Morelock’s life.”    Unexpected compassion    Cpl. Connie Briggs is dead. So are Shelley and Herman, two of the three judges who sentenced the trio to death.    Castle, the off-duty cop, is a retired police chief and Monroe Twp. supervisor. He is known worldwide for training K-9 dogs.    But the bank robbery has stuck with him.    “Anytime I walk in the bank, I always walk around to look in the windows [first],” he said.    And, he said, it’s important not to forget the man who was killed.    “Yes, they killed a guy, ruined a whole family’s life, and the guy was older,” Castle said. “He was harmless.”    Morelock left no family to speak on his behalf. He was divorced when he died and his former wife, now deceased, identified his body, her son said recently.    His obituary didn’t mention her or her children, only a father and sister in Maryland.    But questions and compassion for his killers come from an unexpected place.

Zimmerman, who was Dauphin County district attorney during their trial and eventually became state attorney general, wouldn’t run out and throw open the prison doors. But he said he would be willing to examine the system, to consider whether every person who kills at a tender age should be locked behind walls forever.    Zimmerman was a defense lawyer before he was a district attorney. He saw the other side — the children without childhoods, poverty, neglect — up close.    “I always believed in my heart I was a better prosecutor for having been a criminal defense lawyer,” he said.    Zimmerman was attorney general during five of Wiggins’ commutation attempts; he recused himself each time.    Wiggins said he showed compassion.    “He understood that at that point in my life things had started to change for me,” Wiggins said.    “You can’t go 40 years and be the same person. You either get better or you get worse. I know I’m not a threat to society.”

 

starved for her giggles

Gasping breaths, quiet sobs. Big, juicy tears well-up and roll down my cheeks.

I miss my child.  The sunshine she brings to my life.  I am starved for her giggles and silly stories.

How we laugh and make up games with funny rules.  It never matters who wins, we both get trophies.

She has stolen my heart and I don’t want it back.  I just need her in my life, that’s all I ask.

I grieve every day I am not able see her.   It tears me up inside….but I push on.

Giving up is not an option.  Not for her or me.

It’s been five days since I saw her last.

Please God, make him let me see her.

~P.

Life sentence at 16

Corey Hollinger was convicted in May 1987 for the murder of Albert Swalm in Lebanon Township, PA.  Hollinger was 16 and his brother Tracy was 14 when a home burglary turned to murder.  Both pleaded guilty to murder and were sentenced as adults.  Corey received a life sentence with no chance of parole for first degree murder.  Tracy was sentenced 12 to 60 for third-degree murder but has the possibility of parole.

The Hollinger boys had a rough life growing up and a history of committing crimes at a young age.  While in prison, Corey survived the Camp Hill prison riots and found faith in God to overcome his drug addiction in 1990.

Corey has had time to reflect on his actions in the past.  He takes responsibility for his actions, but he believes he has been punished for the crime he committed as a child and could be a productive part of society if he were released from this life sentence.  Corey does not feel entitled to the possibility of parole but believes that youth sentenced to life does not give them the chance to ever turn their life around.

After reading this article, I Googled Corey Hollinger and found a picture of him and his prison address.  I’ve written him a letter and if he responds, I will take the time to know him because his past is behind him.   He still seems to have a bright out-look on life knowing he most likely will never leave the prison complex and that is remarkable in itself.

I hope his faith in God remains strong.

~P.

Fists of Tissues

tissubox

Back in 2008, one afternoon, I was at the kitchen island in my house, talking to Linda. I don’t recall exactly what we were talking about but John’s name came up. Linda was my listening ear, my shoulder to cry on. In the middle of sharing one of John’s shining moments, John pops open the door into the kitchen. He had been standing behind the cracked door listening to Linda and I. I was fucking furious because my chief complaint to Linda was “John is so far up my ass, I am going to have to have him surgically removed if I stop quickly.” I couldn’t even have a few minutes alone without him managing to eavesdrop on me.
Furious at him for sneaking around once again, I grabbed the box of tissues off the island and threw it at him yelling, “Stop listening to my conversations with people! I know you spy on me for no reason!”

The tissues bounced off his belly and fell to the floor, just like my words fell on deaf ears.

What did I learn this day?
1. My husband WAS regularly spying on me for no reason.
2. Hitting him with a tissue box did not automatically cause him to call the police.

He must not have added it to his speed dial yet.

~P.

Damn tan lines

Sweater season is over!!

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