Dear John V


Dear John,

Last night I learned you called my former room-mate, John Ott.  It is outrageous that you are calling around, looking for anything to make up a story, for court.  I don’t call your people….. they call, text, email and message me.  Please stop causing drama and wild rumors to spread.  It’s just not following the rules of Kid’s First.

Tesla is what is most important and she has a same, normal home.  Back out of my life and stop this endless drama so I can enjoy writing about all the stupid, mean, backstabbing things you did in the past.

I’m sure as I blog, I will work through my depression, developed after meeting you.  My therapist, Cathy Snelbaker at T.W. Ponessa has been supportive in any decisions I made.  You had the opportunity to attend counseling to work on our marriage.  You chose to stop going saying I would never change and admitting to knowing you couldn’t.  I’ve accepted that, so let’s move on.

I don’t bother any of your peeps, I treat Heather with respect when I see you.  I am nice to her kids and encourage Tesla to think of them as family.  I hope you can keep it together this time.

Stop calling people in my life.  I have enough to write about as life is.

Thank you,


Yearbook to Facebook finds 1989: McNew, Laird and Fieldhouse

Still having fun looking through my yearbook at Dover Highschool.  I currently have the 1986 year opened.  My friend Mike McNew stood out among the photos.  His 1986 photo is showing his respect for following the rules on the school bus.  He used this as the background for where he wrote to me:

Rule breaker


To a real cute girl I met a while back.  Best of luck in the future with whatever you do and who you do it with.

Mike “89”

Go Team! Mike McNew


That was so damn sweet of you back in 1986!  Calling me cute and everything!  It’s no wonder, because you are a nice guy.  We had a blast in highschool!  I’m kind of reliving it through college with kids 20 years younger than me.  Sadly I haven’t seen you recently and even sadder is the last time I did, it was at your sweetheart brother’s funeral.  Kelly was a cool guy and I’m sorry you lost your brother. Good memories from shop classes and Vo-Ag.  One that sticks in my head that’s weird….Gary Lightner sneaking up to the wood storage area, alone….



Aaron Laird who was a grade ahead of me, wrote this:


To a very sweet girl I’ve known all my life.  Keep up the good personality and don’t change for anyone.

Love ya,



Dear Aaron,

First let me say, you knew all the way back in 1986 how to spell my name correctly.  Bonus points for that kind of shit!  What you wrote is perfect, sweet and now my rule of thumb.  It’s great we are still close friends.  I enjoy talking with you and riding our cycles.  We really do go back as friends.  All our lives is really true and it’s nice to have friends that didn’t want me to change.  Thank you for the dance at school and come visit me now that I’ve moved again!  No, I’m not going to kiss you under the hangers in my closet or clean your house in a duck costume.  LMAO



Winding up this round of blogs is or as people called her in highschool and at church, “Mich or Chelle” Do you still hate your first name so much?  I remember you just not liking it.  You always dotted the i with a little bubble or heart.  Patricia has grown on me, but I prefer Pattie.  If I remember correctly, I called you “Mad.”  LOL  Here’s what Michelle wrote:

Michelle still looking like a doll on her wedding day.

Pattie,  (bonus points!)

To a really strange chic.  Hope we’re friends forever darling.  Good Luck with Greg.  Wouldn’t you like to alfalfa him w/ him? OF COURSE!!  Silly question!





Dear Michelle,

Ok, who is Greg?  I’m thinking Greg Shaffer.  Or was his name Craig?  He was my neighbor off of Rohler’s Church Road and I really had a thing for him.  Other than him trying to yank my tank top down, he had no interest in “seeing” me.  (I scratched his arms up real bad once.  When he mom called and asked me why, suddently he was in trouble.)  Yes, I wanted to “alfalfa him!”  Do you remember what that was?  I do! LOL

You called me strange.  Thanks, I knew that back then too.  I grow on people….sometimes as a fungus.  You were a little out there too though.  You, Pam Schrum and I were tight friends.  I remember your mom and dad, especially your mom being our preacher.  How funny is that?  Do you still go to McDonald’s on Thanksgiving for chicken nuggets?   I thought that was so damn funny.  So much less work too!

Who was Mark?  I’m thinking Eckenrode?

Talk to you later Darling,


Coming up in my Yearbook to Facebook finds 1989.  Will be writing to you soon!

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Dear John IV

I love this pic I "stole" off the internet. She has an entire dear john website.

Dear John,

Thank you for letting me know the check I wrote for my move has been sent to domestics.  While it’s only $106, that’s significant in my little world.  Last night I had a few minutes to go online and check out the mortgages.  About a week or two ago you proudly told me you had caught up on the mortgages.  That was good to hear as it affects my credit as well as yours.  I even was happy for you and your gang to take a little vacation over the weekend I moved in.

Of course, you weren’t telling me the truth.  I see you made many payments to get out of that $10k hole.  I would expect money will show up as earned income first, before you made enough payments to bring the balance down.  Regardless, the mortgages are still behind.  Though I haven’t received any foreclosure notices recently.  Have you?  Maybe it’s this whole “changing my address” so often the Post Office can’t keep up.  At least I am keeping them on their toes.  Just spoke to my mailman yesterday and he updated the mailbox to Patricia A. Crider and I reluctantly added my previous name, Delauter, because I knew I would still get mail with your name in error.  It takes time to get all these little boo-boos fixed when your stuck in a divorce.

Whoops…sorry about that.  I kinda went off a bit over the whole name thing.  It’s just things like this letter from Wells Fargo  I want my name separated from you.  It’s so simple John.  Our marriage is over and you have started a new life with a new woman.  Our daughter would like both families to be happy.  If you and Heather can be happy together, that’s great.  Super Dooper Great!  Even if that means we all have to start over, or at least fall behind, then recover.  I can do that and so can you!

Okay, good writing to you.  Now and then I still miss you.  I’m not sure why.

Just looking in on the mortgages and finding your bs,



Dear John III

Dear John,

I was surprised when you told me you were sending my check written to the moving company to domestics.  “I’m not cashing it.” you told me.

Well, you can’t cash it really, it’s written to the company.  I asked you why you were doing this and you responded in a text (impressive) with “Because you just said you’re hurting for money so I’m not cashing the check and putting it towards my child support so you don’t have to be out of the money out-of-pocket right now.”

I texted you back “Tearing up the check would b better 🙂  Most helpful 2 TT n I.”

I wasn’t surprised with your text back, “That’s not gonna happen. :-)”

“Of course not.  You enjoy seeing me struggle.”  I replied.  Loved the smiley icon in your text.  Is there a snear smiley available in your phone?

I’ll struggle but survive, even in the 96 degree weather,with no air conditioning in my car or house.  I’m sure you have the AC on at home, chilling the house.  You can always jump in our swimming pool to cool off.  I really miss that pool these days!

So, I’ll get some child support out of the check I sent you.  Maybe $85 or so out of the $106 I wrote the check for.  You’ll get $106 credited towards your child support and somehow, I suppose, not have to claim that income on the business records.  Yes, had you forced me to pay cash it would have been much easier on you.  Sorry about wanting to follow the rules in running a business.

Tesla is checking out the new house.  She says it’s beautiful.  Isn’t she just a sweetie!  Gets that from her momma!


Dear John II

Dear John,

I realize you might not read this right away as you all are on vacation.  I hope it’s going great!

Things are going well back in PA for me.  I’m surrounded by half unpacked boxes that are staring me down, wondering when I’ll finish emptying them.  This weekend has been incredibly productive in many ways.  Tesla and I now have a house of our own.  My friends and family were here for me on moving day and one of our employees that I just met.  His name was Randy and he did fantastic work on the job.  I was happy to give him a $20 tip for this excellent work.  The actual cost of my move is on an invoice.  It’s a strange feeling signing an invoice as a customer instead of as the owner.  Remember when I ordered those first set of company invoices?   Instructed the printing company what the company name was, our address and phone number?  It was exciting seeing the company develop into a legitimate business!

Back to paying for my move, I began writing the check out to the company name and Randy stopped me saying I had to pay cash.  Where the hell is that coming from John?  Why do I have to pay cash?  You afraid my check might bounce as you know how little you send every other week for child support and alimony?

“I’m writing the check to the company.  I have an invoice.” I tell Randy, my A1 moving helper.

“John said you were to pay in cash.”  Randy suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  Poor guy, I could tell he was already shook up.

“I don’t care what John said, I’m writing a check, but I do have a $20 tip in cash for you.”  I responded, feeling bad for my employee.  I had become the unco-operative customer who was going to do what she wanted, regardless of what he said.

“I have to call John, because I need the cash and $40 of it goes for the fuel in the truck.” Randy said.  He looked absolutely miserable knowing he had to make this phone call.

“Okey Dokey,” I replied.  “If you want, I can call him.  I know the number.” I offered.

“No, I’ll call.”  He declined, but I knew I would wind up having to talk to John no matter who dialed the cell number.  I wonder if Randy has John listed as #2 on his speed dial?  Though I rarely use it other than calling Tesla, he still makes #2, after the voice mail.  Someday, Tesla’s phone number will be my #2.

Randy calls John and tells him I want to write a check.  Isn’t that how it IS supposed to work in the business of being a mover?  You move me, I write a check to pay you.  Sure I got a HUGE discount on my move.  Randy at his hourly rate and $40 fuel surcharge.  That was a great deal and I have no complaints, other than FREE would have been ever better.  I mean, I did find the truck we used, online for our company.  Infact, I think all 3 of our trucks in service, I picked out and you agreed they would make good business purchases for the company.  Heck, I issued the first check making the payments on it, at one time in life.  Regardless, the move was completed and I could not be happier with the results.

What I do have a problem with is you wanting me to write the check not to the company but to Randy himself.  I realize I am throwing a wrench in the works with you being away from the office, already on the road the camp.  (Wow, you are camping?  Remember this blog? )  Now wait a minute here, I couldn’t use the truck without having Randy because of workers compensation and if I would wreck….  Yeah, ok I didn’t argue as this move was as legit as I could afford.  $103 to move stuff 3/10 of a mile with a second trip to Dover for my shit that’s been in storage since Feb of 2009.  It’s a good deal, but one I’m writing a check for.

“Just let me talk to him,” I said for about the 3rd time, reaching my hand out to Randy for the damn cell phone.  I was seconds away from just calling myself if he didn’t part with his cell soon.

“Ok.”  Handing me his phone, Randy wasn’t looking happy at all.  Not only did he have to call the big boss because the “invisible boss from the past” was suddenly present and making things seem complicated, but he KNEW there was only a check in the near future.

“Hello John” I greeted you on Randy’s phone.  At this point, I really don’t remember if you got any words in.

Why?  Because I immediately reminded you that I had an invoice for my move and I was writing a check to the company.  There was no way in hell I was writing a check to the employee and nothing you said was changing my mind and I hung up.  Well, actually I just handed the phone back to Randy who was staring at me in disbelief.  I guess he never heard anyone tell the Boss John what was going to happen.

That’s the beauty of my life now.  I swear I am SO over being told by you how my life should be run.  Just enjoy how your life is now and let’s get this divorce over.  Then you can rush into marrying Heather and start all over again, like last time.

Back opening boxes of my life’s little treasures, and having the memories poke me with sharp little sticks.  No worries though, I am feeling fantastic about where I am in life.  I accept that meeting you was important in my life.  I think it’s sad our life didn’t work out but I can’t let that get me down.  I hope you and Heather are having an awesome time on vacation this weekend.  I’m glad Tesla has somewhere positive to be while I restart our life with a permanant address.  Someday I will have money to take her on a vacation.  I just have to be patient, like these boxes, randomly sitting through-out the house waiting for me to finish unpacking them.

Patience is a virtue, but empty boxes are the bomb!


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