To sexy for my sweatpants

Standing around thinking about where this divorce is going. Just dyed my hair. Why don’t those hairs in the front take the dye? Those stubborn grey hairs that pop out all over. It boggles my mind all the different avenues this divorce may take. I worry about how this divorce is affecting my daughter. I know there is no saving my marriage at this point. Because I accept that, I am ready for the divorce. All this court over custody and support is a huge waste of money and time. Time from Tess, school, household duties. Just the time spent preparing for what may happen. What if? There is just so much to consider. I still feel I am under this mans thumb.

They are lime green track pants. Not actually sweatpants. I bought them at the Goodwill to save money. They are comfy, color of my college and $1.50. Sweet, sexy and thrifty. That’s me 🙂

POLL-how long should people date before introducing kids?

Was just a matter of time

I wondered how long it would take.  I finally got a text letting me know he read my blog.  Jhole not to happy, but I told him he can get his own blog site.  I have been relatively silent for the past how many years now.  Waiting for my life to be freed up.  Tonight I called to talk to Tesla and who answers the phone but the newest girlfriend, Heather.  Why would she even want to talk to me?  I have nothing to say to her.  Yet, I hang up on her after she refuses to let me speak to Tess or John  and she calls me.  She even walked outside so she could hear.  Guess they were out spending her money,  as John doesn’t have any.   John thrives on this drama.  Court should be interesting.  Maybe his most recent girl will tag along.

Why does my daughter have to see this parade of women?  How long should a person date before meeting their children?  I think I need to take a poll…

This makes it easy.  I just write about what is going on and Jhole can read it.  He always wants to know what’s going on anyway…

Sept 11, 2004

It was a fateful fall day back in 2004. I was out exercising by taking a walk through Red Lion, PA. The sky was sunny and I was breaking a sweat walking up RT 24 towards Cape Horn Shopping Center in Dallastown. As I broke the top of the hill I looked down upon Dallastown and the flurry of traffic coming and going. While i took a few minutes to catch my breath i called my bbf, Jean and wished her a happy birthday. She was in the middle of gambling in Atlantic City, a trip I desperately wanted to go on. All our close friends were going, Scott, Malinda, Bob, Kim and Dave. But, I was a single mom of two and couldn’t justify gambling. We chatted just a few more minutes and I turned around to head back home and Jean went back to gambling. I had a few things to get done by noon and one of them was running my sons back out to Cape Horn to go to Blockbuster Video.

That trip to Blockbuster to return “The Punisher” on Sept. 11,2004 changed my life forever!!! Little did I know, I was meeting “The Punisher” and would become his next victim for 7 plus years.

Next blog….Blockbuster:slightly damaged selection

Duh, it’s court ordered!!!

I just finished trying to talk to the future ex husband.  It ended in a yelling match with me hanging up on him, again.  There is no talking to this man.  After repeatedly texting him to find out if he has or is going to pay some money towards his support, I had to resort to calling him.  I HATE calling him.  I don’t want to have to talk to this dreadful man!

Yesterday was bad enough meeting the new girlfriend but then he has the audacity to tell me he’s not paying anymore child support.  Why?  Because I claimed Tess on my taxes.  He never files his taxes early, but I saw no reason to wait.  He is furious that I claimed Tess on my taxes for last year because I claimed her the year before.  Nothing is written in our divorce on who legally can claim her.  Why isn’t it written in?  Because the divorce proceedings haven’t even started yet other than he filed on 10/09/08.

My lawyer said let him know you’re claiming Tess, so I did and Jhole left me a NASTY message that I of course, saved.  Then today, as my checking account begins to dwindle, he says he’s not paying anything until after this upcoming (mid-March) hearing.  This hearing is just over support, not custody.  John intends to sue me for custody by the time school starts.   Now anyone could tell John that he HAS to pay his support no matter what he thinks because…Duh!  It’s court ordered!

John claims he doesn’t have the money to pay support anymore…

 REALLY?  How do you manage to have so many girlfriends then?  In my eyes I see it like this:  John+girlfriend=my support money used in his search of a new wife!

The Next “victim”

As usual, I parked my car at the top of my driveway waiting for Jhole to let Tess out of the house. (That’s ordered by the crooked court of Harry Ness)  Sitting at the top of the drive I saw Tess come flying out the door followed by her father.  I was busy pulling her carseat out of the trunk and when I looked up I saw Jhole had a woman following him up the drive.  I was fine with having to park at the top of our driveway, figuring I wouldn’t have to see him. 

 Not so lucky, as Jhole always seems to find a reason to come to my car.  I was pretty sure his last girlfriend that I was aware of, Shirley somebody, was out of the picture.  I knew the one before Shirley, Kelli was lone gone back in Oct 2010.  She accidentally caught him cheating on an audio tape.  She called me and left a craaaaazy voice mail about me having my husband back and the house, etc cause she caught him fucking on tape.  I don’t know who was watching our daughter while he had that afternoon delight.  

 I lost track of who all has been my replacement wife.  Hell, I started out as a replacement wife.  Never thought I would be the second wife to be disposed of.  There was a Tammy (she had me charged with harrassment…bitch!), a Pam, hell he even went after our secretary..she wisely said NO WAY!  Then Kelli who was in blind love with Jhole just as I was.  She changed everything in her life except her job (smart….I gave up my career) and put thousands of her money into Jhole and I’s home and business.  Kelli was just another sucker in love.  Shirley….don’t know what happened there and that lets Heather.  After Jhole introduced her as his girlfriend I said, “oh you’re the new girlfriend.”  Jhole didn’t like that but I didn’t care.  I was more interested in getting Tess in the car and getting the hell away from John.  His patheticness makes me want to puke everytime I am near him. 

Tess was obviously uncomfortable with the introduction of the most recent chick in his life to her mommy.  She didn’t even want to say goodbye to her dad and he had to MAKE her say goodbye to Heather.  She called Tess “sweetie and said she would see her friday.”  I held back the wretching noises…Heather has much to learn about her new boyfriend.  He will throw anyone under a bus to get what he wants.  I would know.

I changed everything for him….at his insistance.  Unfortunately, I’m stuck dealing with his bullshit for the next 14 years.  I dread the fight of custody when Tess starts school this fall.  Looks like he will force me to court to get his way.  I don’t see him winning but then again, I didn’t see still being married 2 and half years after he filed!

Moving on up!!!

just needs a little work

My new home!!!!  Just kidding.  Can’t even afford this place.  Sigh

Obsessed with everything

How not to label your kids clothes

who does this?!?!

I couldn’t help but notice the huge DAD written in permanent marker on my daughter’s pants tag.  I looked twice as I turned them inside right, preparing them for the laundry.  Yes, it did say DAD on Tesla’s pants.  So I grab her shirt and checked out the tagless Walmart blouse.  It’s really cute shirt with a little carousel horse on it.  Tesla just LOVES horses and this was the first I ever saw this outfit, clearly new.  Yes, it did say DAD on the inside of her tagless shirt.  WHO labels their child’s clothing with DAD?  Even if he did buy it for her (or perhaps a new girlfriend did) it’s still TESLA’s clothes.  At what age does a child of a man who is obsessed with what he has and what he can buy stop seeing DAD inside her clothes, new or old.  Eventually, new clothes are old.  This whole situation is just getting old, but never dull.  Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.

You’re Fuckin Up Our Lives, Dude

She won’t eat.

She won’t eat at the table.

Is it just you and her at the table?

Why does that matter?

It Matters!

No it’s not just her and I eating at the table.

Well maybe that’s why.

What difference would that make?

Because she doesn’t want to eat dinner at the table with a different family all the time!

Because she doesn’t want to call you anymore.

Because she doesn’t talk about you or whoever you’re with anymore.

Nothing.

Except

She doesn’t want to call you.

She doesn’t want to see you.

She doesn’t want to live with you.

She doesn’t want you telling her what she must do.

How I see it

Not to be harsh

She’s folded her hand with you.

She’s done.

Put her first.

Stop with the money.

Stop with the custody.

Stop with the house.

Stop with the business.

Stop with women!

She’s tired of your bullshit too.

You’re fucking up our lives, Dude!

Move ON!!!!!

CLICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Footnotes:Don’t you miss the days when slamming down a phone with an actual cord gave you a sense of satisfaction?

Mar 4, 2007 Weird Dreamin

Mar 4, 2007 Weird Dreamin

Current mood:tired Friday night I dreamed my bestfriend Malinda and my hubby dissappeared Saturday night and was up to no good while we were watching the group Back in Black perform. Then Malinda came back but I couldn’t find John. When I did, I was pissed and said I was leaving the bar and took the keys. When I got outside the bar some guy told me if I dipped my change into this special liquid it would clean it. I did and my coins came out real shiny! Then zombies appeared on the street and we had to throw the coins at them to make them die. This guy jumped in my car with me and tried to drive us away from the zombies but we kept running into dead ends and almost got hit by a train. Fortunately I woke up before this dream got any more stupid.

 I dreamed Monday night that I was working at Gordon’s Jewelers and I went in the back to the break room. When I opened the door a man was behind the door and he kinda scared me but I thought he was a new employee. Suddenly he grabbed me and was choking me with both hands. I tried to scream out to the other employees but couldn’t make a sound so I bit him in the hand. I woke up biting my own hand.

I think I might need therapy….