I cried after class


I broke down and cried after my India class. We had met the founder of HOINA, the orphanage I’ll be teaching at, and I stayed after to talk to Mrs. Large.  She won’t be in India while we are because for the first time in 25 years, she will be staying home, in the Lancaster area I believe, to celebrate her daughter’s birthday. Her daughter is turning 50.


Mrs. Large believes God is 100% behind her in the path she took in her life. She was a teacher in the 1960’s and in 1971 she realized God intended for her to adopt children and bring them into her home. She believed he intended for her to adopt American Indian children, but on her first attempt, was completely shut down.  If she wasn’t at least a 1/3 Indian herself, she could not adopt an Indian child.  She was crushed and unclear of what her next steps should be.

In 1975 she met a gentleman named Dr. Livingston and she told him about her calling to adopt American Indian children.  Dr. Livingston told her she needed to come to India, his county, where there were thousands of children in need of homes.

Mrs. Large quit her job, and with her husband and children by her side, she traveled to India. Her husband was certain she had lost her mind, but there was no talking her out of it. On August 3, 1975, they moved to India and in a unanimous vote, they adopted a little girl.  Mrs. Large realized immediately-they needed to build an orphanage.

In 1978, Mrs. Large rented a house for $15 a month and 7 young boys lived there. All seven graduated college and have numerous personal achievements. After a fire that burned much of the village, the rented house remained but the rent was raised to a ridiculous amount of money.  So with $2,900 and a grant for $10k, they bought 1.75 acres and built an orphanage. This land became over-run with cobras. The neighboring community worshiped the cobras and regardless of how many that were killed on the orphanage property, no one was safe.  This land was sold for over a million dollars…not a bad profit.

With this money and support of churches and Christian organizations, in 1999, 24 acres was purchased.  The girl’s orphanage on a separate piece of land was sold and for the first time, children of both sexes were housed on one property.  An additional 50 acres has been purchased and now the orphanage compound is nearly 75 acres large and is occupied by 100 boys, 100 girl, staff and their family, 23 cows, 10 goats (that cause much mischief), rabbits and ducks.

Mr. & Mrs. Large (called Papa and Mom by everyone in India, even the local police) have helped raise over 4,000 orphaned or abandoned children since she first acted on the will God intended.

Mom said she knew her calling and now, after saving 4,000 children, humanity is recognizing her calling.


I cried because last night, John said I don’t care about my daughter because I chose to take three weeks after Christmas to make this trip to India. He says I am self-centered and not considerate of others, and I don’t care about Tesla, other than to boo-hoo that I don’t have her and he does.

John would never listen long enough to understand, nor really ever comprehend, what I do.  I told him he could only wish he understood me and he should go back to his little world.

Then he claimed, “I gave you everything, I did everything for you, put up with your bullshit and all you did was stab me in the back over and over.  I can’t believe you would  think I’d even think about being nice to you again. I pray to God our daughter doesn’t grow up with the same attitude you have.”

After I stopped laughing, I said “I can only hope Tesla is more like me and least like you. I don’t care if you’re bitter.  You deserve it. I have an amazing future ahead of me, one that Tesla will be a part of…much more involved than what you allow for now.  The more you say, the more it shows how bitter you still are at our break up. Goodnight.”  (He stopped texting me after that.)

Mrs. Large said she followed where God led her and she trusted in him. I cried because John, like some of Mrs. Large family, tried to make me feel guilty for having faith in God to go to India and make a difference. Papa and Mom said they understood my emotions and I should do what I feel is right. I know this trip is important in my life.

And I really know that I am happy.  Those tears were of relief, I suppose, knowing someone else understands. Tesla and I have talked several times now about this trip.  She wants to go to India someday also.  I will find a way to show Tesla India,  and all the places she wants to see.

It doesn’t matter what John says or thinks. I don’t have to listen to him anymore.

I listen to God.



  1. Anonymous says:

    for starters, nobody likes leaders. Everybody likes to throw rocks at those above them and point out that they are not “doing their job”. In a nutshell…Fuck them.You will take your daughter much further by striving for the brass ring yourself, than sitting on the porch.

  2. You will give your daughter gifts no money can ever buy, you will give her knowledge, of people and places she may never meet or see but by just sharing their stories her own life will be enriched, she will learn perspective, how the latest pair of trainer is not something you will die without but that the children slaving in the factories to make them might die that day from lack of food, she will learn the greatest gift of all compassion to care what others are going through and understand she cannot change the whole world by herself but that if her actions can change the world of just one other person she can spark a chain that will

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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