Heather Called

I got a call while I was in Rhetorical Theory class.  John wanted to tell me that there was a meeting for the parent’s of the girls that were joining Girl Scouts.  Heck, Tesla even joining Girl Scouts was news to me, but that didn’t surprise me.

I get to the meeting and learn Heather is the Assistant Girl Scout Leader of Tesla’s troop.  That didn’t surprise me.

I filled out papers for Tesla to join.  I gave it to Heather, so she could have John sign on his line.  She told me they already filled out Tesla’s membership paper.  Good, I hope they paid the fee too.  (So much for needing both parents signature) That didn’t surprise me.

John showed up later, stopping before heading into York to play softball.  Tesla was going home with Heather.  That didn’t surprise me.

He said Tesla had a doctor appointment  at 7:45 AM to have her nose cauterized.  This was the first I heard about it.  That didn’t surprise me.

We had a verbal spat about how he is to discuss things like, Girl Scouts and doctor appointments, with me. He blew me off.  That didn’t surprise me.

Heather called me while I was developing film on campus.  She wanted to extend the olive branch and hoped I would be involved in Girl Scouts with Tesla.  That we could get along for what is best for Tesla.  That she doesn’t put herself in the business of John and I getting divorced or the ongoing battle of custody.  I didn’t agree with her opinion and that didn’t surprise me.

She went on and on about how wonder her and her ex husband’s relationship is, and that she would write letters to glorify her ex husband’s new wife and even sign over her children to the new wife, if it were necessary.  I didn’t really follow her thought process.  That didn’t surprise me.

Finally, I just told her she didn’t need to blow smoke up my ass anymore than I needed to blow smoke up hers.  (Maybe she got that, maybe not)  That, while her divorce is final, mine has not even started, and I have no other intention but to pursue the divorce to court and eventually, take custody of Tesla.  That, beyond the entire divorce and custody nightmare, I am glad that Tesla is a happy child even though she was not given the choice of where she wanted to live and that John and I will never agree, and it will always be a matter of what the court decides, until Tesla is old enough to make the decision that the law will take into consideration.  I told Heather, she can say she isn’t “part of the problem” but unless she truly butts out, like Dale does, she will always be part of this three-ring-circus and the way I deal with this circus is to write about it, and go to college.  I told her I am happy to have Girl Scout time with Tesla (since I can barely squeeze any other time out) and that I am certain we can all get along for what is best for our children.  I told her I am tired of being the last person to know anything, and that John’s behavior with screaming at me over being 15 minutes late returning Tesla after the fair was just ridiculous, considering he can’t give me any information about Tesla in the way the courts laid out.  That he claims I am irresponsible, but he instigates problems by disrespecting me in front of Tesla.  While she wouldn’t agree that John acts like a complete Ahole and thinks he is always right, we did manage to have a conversation lasting nearly sixteen minutes where neither of us screamed at the other or hung-up pissed off.

Now that surprised me.


Update: Heather text messaged me that the paper I signed was holding me responsible for any fundraiser money, not giving permission for Tesla to join the Girl Scouts.  Silly me, thinking she might need her mother’s permission to join, not just be responsible for all the money from endless fundraisers.


  1. I don’t like her.

  2. I was searching amish mafia and your picture popped up. 🙂 As for this situation, Heather wants you to be a part of this girl scouting thing, cause she’s a leader there and your not. There, she’s a boss and your just a bystander. She gets power of you in that setting. Sad to hear this is still on-going.

    • They are both–Heather and John–all hung up on control and power. I TRY to just let it all roll down my back and not affect me. In the long run, Tesla will have the “power” to decide what she wants. I just need to be patient.

      Thank for the comment! ~P.

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