Just Jumping Rope. Gravity Wins.

What happened? You fell down.

There I am, getting my ass to the gym, trying to stay somewhat healthy, and even improve. Yea me! I was feeling great warming up with my new rope and . . . someone kicked me from behind.

Brian gave me a speed rope for Christmas. Not sure how other wives might feel about that, but, I loved it. I finally remembered to cut it off the cardboard and take in to workout on Wednesday. On Thursday, Brian was at the gym too and watching me jump rope, even commenting on how well it was going. My gym mates are really good at jumping rope. Some look like they are effortlessly dancing, often to a song only in their head.

I was watching them and decided to give it a try. I’m decent at jumping rope, I just can’t do it very long before I get hung up. But I keep trying, it’s all about keeping the heart rate up. Sometimes, I don’t even use the rope, I just jump around and swing my arms. No one cares.

No sooner did I start trying to jump “fancy” I got hit in the back of my left leg. It happened so damn fast I didn’t even realize I was on the gym floor, until I was there. One of our trainers, John, who was starting class in 2 minutes, looked down at me. I’m not sure if he recognized my confusion. I looked behind me, certain someone had accidentally kicked me, or I had crashed into equipment.

There was nothing behind me. Not a fucking thing I could have tripped over, other then my ego from thinking I could jump rope like the twenty-some-year-old, next to me. I actually asked what happened and both John and Brian, who was behind me, said it looked like I rolled my ankle. That does make more sense.

I tried to stand up and I couldn’t. I moaned and felt my stomach lurch. Oh Lord, please don’t let me barf on the gym floor. That would be horribly embarrassing. The guys tried to help me stand up and I felt my world start to close in and get dark. My stomach began to roll and I realized the reality of throwing up AND passing out on the gym floor. I HAD to get out of there.

John and Brian picked me up and carried me to the door. People were coming in as I was being carried out. I wish I could have said, “wait till you see the other guy.”

I didn’t go to urgent care until Friday afternoon after my Facebook friends insisted I needed to see a doctor. And, hey, they were right. The doctor said I severed my Achilles tendon and the end is probably up in my calf. I told him I was going to hope it’s not completely severed. He smile and responded, “you do that.”

Tuesday afternoon is MRI day. I’ve been on the couch for 2 days. I’m probably going to be immobile for weeks and then have months of recovery. That is going to suck.

I have never had to slow down like this before. I think about my mom and how she is chair bound, for probably LIFE. She will most likely never walk, and I will most likely, will have a full recovery. I’m going to suck it up and make the most of it with 3 goals.

  1. Don’t be down in spirit.
  2. Blog about anything. (Someone I don’t know once referred to my blog as a “Mommy Blog and train wreck I can’t stop reading”. Sounds accurate and thank you.)
  3. Follow doctor’s orders.

One or more of these may be difficult.


Lower Chesapeake Tour Part 3

“Nude Sailing Morning”

The next morning I woke up disoriented, and it took me a moment to figure out where I was crashed. I crawled from my tiny burrow and poked my head out of the cabin.

Couldn’t ask for more

It was gorgeous! Warm and sunny, just beautiful. I was excited to get up top and look around. I still had on my sweatpants and shirt from the night before. It was pretty chilly overnight. We didn’t run the heater thought, because I actually like it cold.

I definitely didn’t need sweat clothes, in fact, I didn’t need any clothes. There wasn’t a soul around. Well, there were some huge freighters far off on the bay, but we were like ants to them.

Brian already had coffee made and waiting for me. I shed my clothes and went up top into the sun. Brian was taken back, but also smiling, “those ships have giant binoculars.”

You’re naked.

“Good, let them look. Might be the best part of their day.”

“Could be”, he responded, shaking his head.

I ran around the boat taking pictures. It was such a freeing moment, and I got such a kick out of it. So did Brian. We pulled anchor and set saiI, no motor needed. I blew up some balloons and did eventually put on my swimsuit as we got closer to Thimble Shoal Lighthouse.

There were a few boats around, and we even saw some nut jump off his boat and swim in the bay. I did consider it, because my skin was on fire, but I knew the water had to be freezing. Hard pass.

From the lighthouse we headed to Hampton, VA. I cooked scrambled eggs in route. It was one of the most challenging cooking experiences I’ve ever had. I couldn’t keep my balance even though we weren’t in rough water. Just cruising at 4 mph tossed me around and I crashed my shoulders and legs in galley. It took me 20 minutes to cook 6 eggs, and they were worth every bump I endured.

As we ate our breakfast, a scary “kill you dead ship” passed by looking intimating as hell next to our tiny sailboat. Our boat seems HUGE in the driveway, but not so much next to these enormous ships. Go US Navy!!

We already had a slip booked for the night, and tried fishing as we sailed, but caught nothing. I couldn’t wait to get back on land and explore Hampton. There was a restaurant I researched that had rave reviews. My enthusiasm waned a bit when I learned I picked a place 1.5 miles away. I already was boiling inside my skin. But, Brian said, “come on, it will be fun.”

Coming soon Part 4. Where’s the Damn Shade?

Thank you for reading our adventures. Please let a comment on my blog or Facebook!

Were you expecting to see the nudes?


If you enjoyed this post, check out the full series starting here!

Lower Chesapeake Tour Part 2

“Things Got Choppy”

We headed out of the Fox Hill dock area, and motored our way through the channel. I HATE having anything to do with the motor. I don’t mind handling the rudder for short periods of time, but the motor is more responsibility then I wish to take on. I should not be in charge of handling anything that can possibly cause me to panic and crash our sailboat. And sink. This is relevant later.

Once we cleared the channel, Brian raised the sails. For some reason, the main sail wouldn’t go all the way up. But, it was breezy, and we had no problem catching the wind.

Almost fully open sail

There were wind gusts up to 20 mph, and certainly created excitement on our part. We saw dolphins, not just swimming, but playing in the water. Or, maybe they were eating fish, also a possibility, as Brian explained to me. I knew that, but I’m my head they WERE PLAYING. That made our afternoon.

With the 750lb keel dropped, we sailed across the bay. Or, you could say, we were tossed about like a piece of cork. I had taken a pill for motion sickness to avoid feeding the fish over the side of the boat.

It wasn’t working. 🤢

I decided to see if I felt better by trying out my new boat bed.

He had bought a queen memory foam for the bow and a twin for the galley, cutting them to size. Here’s a picture of us putting sheets on the mattress and trying it out at home. They worked fantastic, making sleeping in the boat tolerable.

There was stuff everywhere, from all the tossing about. I had to clear the short path to the bow, and even our 5 gallon water bottle had fallen over. The water pump was off the top, pouring water INTO the boat. After setting it on the floor, I attempted to mop up what was right in the path, while yelling to Brian that the water spilled. He replied, “okay” and stayed focused on his destination to fish.

I crawled in and turned around so my head was facing the correct direction this time. I’m new, okay? Certainly makes more sense to put my head away from the bow. It’s a tiny place to sleep, but I called dibs.

Instead of having a table, we just kept it down as Brian’s sleeping area. He’s about 5 feet away from me at night. He snores, but in my bed, my head is at a toilet, separated by a thin, plywood panel. I’ll take the toilet. It doesn’t smell or snore.

After about an hour into the sail, I came back up and asked how much longer until we got to where he wanted to fish. His answer wasn’t what I wanted to hear, as we still had about 2 plus hours, to go.

He asked if I wanted to turn around and warned it would be “with the wind” and even choppier, but much faster then completing the sail across. “Yeah, back is good.”

And, it was decided.

He goes below to visit the potty. It’s portable and works great in the boat. We did take the door off the bathroom. It was annoying and unnecessary. You have to “back in” and it’s much smaller then on an airplane or bus. The walls flex as they are only attached at the top and bottom and they waves at time caused me to brace myself as best possible, without busting down the walls.

If we have guests, they’ll have to get used to the idea of no bathroom door. Also, that clothes are optional. But, that’s later in my story. 😱

Brian comes back up and said “yeah we do need to turn around. I could tell by his voice it had nothing to do with me already deciding we were turning around. What’s up I asked.

He said “there’s some water in the boat and I’m gonna have to check that.” I said, “baby, I told you our water bottle fell over.” He answered, “Oh yeah, that’s right. That’s really, fucking good we’re not taking on water. I was concerned.”

I just didn’t have words.

We turned, and the sails filled with air. God said “let’s have some fun with these two idiots out in their little sailboat on the bay” and off we went. 9 mph doesn’t seem fast, unless you’re on a sailboat, tilted to one side, and asking yourself, “Is this fun?”

Yes, it was crazy fun. I like that excitement. I didn’t feel we were in any danger, but it was rough. He decided to motor back, to try for more control. That helped, but the motor is tiny, only 5 hp. It was enough.

We finally reach the calm area of Back River and dropped anchor for the night to fish and sleep. It was very peaceful, and I liked just laying on the seat area, looking up at the stars and chatting. Around 11 pm, I went into the cabin and brushed my teeth. It was time to sleep.

Stay tuned for my next post of, best time every waking up on a sailboat soaked in sunshine. Could also be called, my first time waking up on a sailboat soaked in sunshine. But, I’ve settled for Part 3- Nude Sailing Morning.

Thank you for reading. Would LOVE and APPRECIATE new subscribers to my blog!!! COMMENTS are awesome here, or on Facebook. Feel free to share. 🙂


One of my best friends, Leslie, is on a European vacation of a lifetime, and part of it on a sailboat. Brian has talked me into retiring on a sailboat, if it’s big enough and sea-worthy, in 9 years, I will go.

Lower Chesapeake Tour Part 1

“Setting Sail”

We left York County, Pennsylvania, towing our sailboat, with Sunny Daze visions in our heads. That is also what I named our vessel, and dazed in the sunshine, was the goal.

Leaving at 5:30 AM, our first destination was Fox Hill Boat Ramp, Hampton, MD. Brian drove for hours and we finally stopped on the interstate for gas and a meal at Subway. There we got sticker shock, not on the gas, but on the fast food. A 6 inch meal and a foot-long sub came to $29.63!

Brian doing something sailboaty and looking cute af.

It took about 6 hours to get to our dock, arriving around 11:30 am. Unlike dropping pretty much any other type of boat, starting the engine and taking off, we have to set up the mast and boom. That’s 6 cables, from what I’m told, but it feels like 600. And don’t even get me started on all the ropes involved. There’s more rope on sailboat, then at a fetish party. No joke.

Not my party, but DAMN.

We get the boat on the water and begin set up. While he’s dragging out both (huge) parts I am carrying supplies from the car to the dock. At one point I was carrying more than I possibly could handle, and dropped a bag of the groceries, stepping squarely on his box Tastycakes. For some reason, this made me laugh out loud and I even made a video. In the video, you can hear him yelling at me to get back over there and help him. Oops!


Since Brian was doing all the planning for this trip, he also did all the packing of the food. From the amount of groceries we had on the boat, we could have been at sea 2 weeks. We had plans to dock and eat at restaurants we researched, so I knew we would not need all this food. What we wound up needing more of was creamer. Cold Stone sweet cream is essential for my coffee.

About 2 o’clock, we launched. I’m sure with more practice it will be quicker, but it is a serious process to raise a 28 foot mast. That’s monstrous when you’re 5’1. Initially, I thought I said under the boom but I later found out it sometimes hangs lower and will smack me in the head when I least expect it. Which is all the time, because nothing ever hits me in the head. I’m 5’1!

Look! No boom-boom to the head. (at that moment)

At least we were on the water. It was gusty and there was no doubt, the sails were going to make us FLY!

Coming soon. . .Part 2 “When Things Got Choppy”


Pre-trip story of how we even have a fucking sailboat to start with. . .

Click here https://girlboxer1970.blog/2022/04/27/happy-birthday-sailboat/

Please comment on my blog OR on Facebook! Thank you!!!

Happy Birthday Sailboat

My husband, Brian, and I, went on our first, overnight sailboat trip. But first, there is a bit of a pre-story to the sailboat. ⛵️

While I was in Florida, visiting friends and family, he bought a 25 foot, 1976 MacGregor sailboat. That was October 9, 2021 and MY birthday. I had no idea he was going to buy a sailboat. It never crossed my mind he would buy anything that takes up that much room in our driveway, without discussing it with me.

I had never sailed until taking this trip to FL and visiting my friend Leslie. I loved sailing on her boat, but that didn’t mean I wanted one! When he called and wished me a happy birthday and said he bought me a 25 foot sailboat, I hung up on him 3 times, using language that would make my mama blush. I was so angry, I couldn’t speak.

Eventually, I heard him out on the 4th call. (He let some precious time pass before he tried to call again, AND Leslie talked me down from my towering inferno.) Once I learned the boat was almost as old as I was, and he had not spent his entire retirement on it, I cooled off, and asked that important question, “Does it float?”

He took it out once with the kids while I was still away (pre-telling me) and once with me after I returned from FL. He left out of Annapolis, Maryland, for both 3-4 hour trips. Then, he decided we were taking a 5 day, 4 night trip on the lower the Chesapeake Bay. He hadn’t really planned anything out yet, other then he wanted us to go, and if I agreed he would plan everything. Putting all my faith in Jesus and Brian’s word, (he’s been rock solid for me nearly 8 years now) I said, “sure baby. Don’t kill me.”

I’m going to write about our first sailing experience in parts. I’m going to talk to Brian as I write about the days, or a specific experience, because he will think about things I’ve forgotten. And, I’m going to try to write everyday, because I am a blogging slacker and my friends keep telling me to get back on the writing wagon. Giddy-up.

I hope you will follow along in my story. Thanks for reading and let me a comment on here or Facebook!

Sails up!

~P. ⛵️🎈❤️

TikTok looner

I choose to let my weird show, so others know it’s ok.


I started a TikTok channel, and a friend said, “if you want to post and get followers, do your balloon videos.”

Driving men wild, one toe at a time.

I’ve been posting videos on YouTube almost as long as I’ve been blogging, 11 years blogging and 9 years on YouTube. I’ve been on TikTok since September 2021, and currently have about 3500 followers, which grows by the hour. My friends are taking interest in my balloon fetish. Many have come over and hang out, playing with balloons because….IT’S FUN! We have a fantastic time and it’s not weird for anyone. Some have entered Pattie’s Balloon Studio skeptical, but they all leave loon lovers. My husband isn’t into being on camera, so he usually my camera man. Lucky guy. 😉

Suntan feets

I started going live on TikTok. In fact, I’m going to live again soon. I’m currently in TikTok jail for 2 days for violating community standards one too many times, within a certain timeframe. That is a bunch of crap, but whatever. I can’t help it I’m sexy. The violations were posts, not me saying or doing something that was reported. TikTok is a time wasteland (I’ve been sucked into), and it’s crazy what people will report as a violation, but two seconds later, a picture of a hot 24 year old will stream by topless, and that’s ART.

WELL, I’m ART too, with my balloons. Ask thousands of looners and feet lovers. I have the cutest (and I’m told sexiest) feet ever with or without nylons.

Who doesn’t love silk thigh highs?

Worthy of TikTok jail, as I now known.



Living through a pandemic. All of us.

Would have never thought I would experience something, like this illness, that is having such a tremendous impact on the world. I’m sick, again. Already had Covid in October 2020, after returning from a 50th birthday trip to Las Vegas. I jumped off the Stratosphere, zipped lined over Freemont Street and picked up Covid. Happy 50th to me.

I’ve been vaccinated, and had my booster. I know, I’m one of the lucky ones that is not real sick. And, I am not as sick as I was the first time around. (so far, anyway) Compared to others, I’m doing great. There are several people I know that are sick, or got sick, and were not vaccinated. My brother is one of them. Now he’s willing to get vaccinated after his waiting period.

Some of those people I knew, did not survive. It breaks my heart.

I had to insist my daughter get vaccinated. Her father felt the opposite.

She’s been off school after a positive test, and though she could return today, according to CDC guidelines, I did not send her. She was up and ready to leave for school, but her father did not want her returning to his house for his week, because he didn’t want Covid coming right through the door. (Neither did I, but she didn’t know she had it when she came home.) I didn’t speak to him about it, but I kept her home. If he doesn’t feel safe having her go to his house, then I am not sending her to school with all those students and staff. Nothing to discuss. I feel we need to protect each other more.

When is the end for Covid? Remember the 24hr flu? Now, it’s the 365 day flu.

With no end in sight.


Requests so Far

Pool Floats and balloon popping fun.

Took about 15 minutes to blow this up with my friend, Lonna
Lonna & Pattie POP

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve started posting balloon videos and talking to other looners again. Often they message with videos they want. Some of the requests I get are not surprising, others raise my eyebrows. I will never mention anyone’s name or information that would reveal who they are. Privacy is important, but writing about this experience is a way for others to learn.

The standard request. . .if I will hump a balloon (simulating sex) and that will always be a no. I do sit pop, and sometimes it’s a struggle to get those good balloons to blow, but I am not simulating sex. I am just fighting good latex to the death.

I get asked to act like other people. I take the time to learn who they want me to write about, or act like, and why. Once I know what they want to hear a story about, I will take it from there. Writing is my thing, before balloons even. I will take whatever is floating around in their head and give it structure.

Very popular is cigarette popping videos. I could probably do them everyday and get twice as many followers, but I quit smoking in 2013. I need to come up with something else to use. I’m thinking incense sticks…?

I look mean. I am not. 🙂

Inflatables is another popular request. Yes, I do love blowing up inflatables. I will make a video for you of me blowing one up that you choose to send. Pool toys are awesome fun. I love the giant heart float that was a gift.

The strangest request I’ve received was if I would stab a soccer ball with a knife.

Yeah, that raised my eyebrows.

Keep popping!


My hairless dog died

Losing a pet just sucks.

Over 13 years ago, I decided I was buying a hairless dog. I’ve never really went into why, if people asked, and usually just let the question go away with “I have allergies.” (Which I do)

A B&W for a photo course. Ying was an excellent model.

The reason I had a hairless dog is my ex-husband didn’t want a dog loose in the house. Dogs shed. He kept his golden retriever in a small gated off area downstairs. It was roomy for a dog pen, but lonely. So, I fixed that problem easy, and this hairless pup I found in TX, was born on my birthday. It was fate. I needed him by my side. Ying arrived in December 2008.

I left the no-roaming-dog house 2 months later.

Ying was the one constant in my life. He went everywhere with me. If I didn’t have him, people asked where he was. I felt like Ying and I attended college together. As long as the weather was acceptable for him to hang out, he would lay around in the car, waiting for my class to end, and we would walk campus.

He was spry and one day, got away from me off the leash. There was no catching Ying. After about 5 minutes he returned with a dinner roll in his mouth. He was fast as fuck, as they say.

For a photography course project, I asked a local tattoo artist, Tom Keller, who has since passed away, if he would pretend to tattoo Ying. He was completely down for the photo shoot. It started a STORM on the internet!! Like I would have even have tried tattooing him, or that Ying would just sit and get tattooed at all.

I’m so glad I have these photos I took of him while I was taking all the photography courses. I will have to go through all the ones I printed to see how many final ones I have. I only have one out that was a final part of my grade.

Found this of Ying and Tom Keller hiding in a box.

He was my protector. In his younger days he would go into a frenzy when someone got near me. He bit a lot of people, no joke there. But, after our last move, he wasn’t nearly as over-protective. He was old. Now and then, he would chase the kitten a little bit. Or even walk fast when we were out for a stroll, headed back home, of course. But, I knew the end was getting near.

He had been up in the garden two days ago. I thought he might have gotten in compost or even cat turds. He was throwing up and had the poops. Even after he licked at the water bowl and ate a little rice, he didn’t look good last night. He couldn’t walk. He enjoyed laying outside earlier in the sun. It was a beautiful day. He didn’t seem to be in pain. I carried him into his heated bed and petted his head. I told him he was a good dog. He looked back at me and I know he could hear me, letting him know it was ok to go.

He was a great dog. I will miss him. What a history we have.


Tidbits I’ve recently learned

I talk to a crazy number of people. I’m a people person. I love them, they love me. I hear stories.

A friend recently had knee surgery. Her healing process was going well, and she was up and about in her home, getting stronger each day. Until the spider happened. A spider that made her say, “no fucking way are you gonna continue to live.” Since she was in her slippers, she wisely chose to fetch a sneaker, a sturdier killing weapon, by far.

She snuck up on that spider, giving it a hard look, with an additional, “Jesus, you are ugly” to be clear of her disapproval of the intruder. Just as she raised her rubber mallet footwear, the spider jumped at her. It wasn’t going down without a fight. She jump backwards, forgetting her crippled state, and shooting pain took the forefront. And the spider, was still alive.

She called for her son, and he arrived at her home just in time to beat the shit out of the offending spider, and to call an ambulance for his mom.

Lesson learned: Let the spider live. It’s a big house.

Another friend told me how he was chasing a suspect across a field. He could feel his pants begin to slip down the back as he ran, caused his heavy tool belt. He reached back to snatch up his pants, but wasn’t quite fast enough. His tool belt panted him mid-dash and anyone watching would have seen his cheeks snuggled in neon green boxer briefs for a flash, before he yanked them back up, without missing a step. Now that’s a pro.

Lesson learned: Take that belt in a notch.

Lastly, a friend recently failed a drug test. Not that the urine was dirty, it was clean. Heck, it wasn’t even real. But, what is wasn’t, was warm enough. Not to temp is an auto fail.

Second lesson learned: Use the prison wallet to ensure temp.

That’s enough tidbits for the day. I’ll always have more.


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