Victims sometimes feel too ashamed to admit when something bad happens to them. This is a natural reaction.
I remember feeling ashamed after I was attacked by a neighbor/classmate while his brother and another neighbor stood nearby. I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday.
I was at church cleaning like I always did once a week. Granville and Larry D. were outside with a kid and I could hear them talking because I had the windows open. There was no air-conditioning at Rohler’s back then.
I walked over to the window and yelled out hello. They rode their bikes up to the window and looked inside, wanting to know what I was doing. I said I was cleaning the church then going home. The next thing I knew, Granville was crawling through the window.
“You can’t come in here,” I told him. He ignored me and was in the church in a matter of seconds. “What are you doing?” I asked. He didn’t have to answer. When he grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the baby nursery room I knew why he climbed through.
I thought to myself, I am not losing my virginity to this dirt ball. I took off for the front door only to find I had locked it to “keep me safer.” Now I realized I was locked inside so I ran downstairs, came up the other side, into the new wing of the church and locked myself in the bathroom. Granville was yanking on the doorknob and trying to get me to come back out. It got quiet after a little bit and I thought he had left. As soon as I cracked the door he shoved his hand in and grabbed me. I shoved past him using the door to my advantage and ran back into the main part of the church.
He ran after me and I tried to get back into the nursery without him getting through the door. I didn’t even get the door shut and he had a hold of me again. He was yanking the front of my jeans down but I had a belt on and that is what saved me. He couldn’t get my belt open with me viciously attacking him with my fingernails. His arms and face were bleeding. I don’t know why I didn’t start to scream for help. It was surreal…how could this be happening in the church I’ve been going to all my life?!
Finally, Granville’s brother yelled in, “come on Bud, let her go.” I guess Granville realized it wasn’t going to be easy to rape me and his brother and friend were not going to help him. He left the same way he came in and I closed and locked all the windows. I felt stupid for allowing this to happen and embarrassed, like I would be blamed because I yelled out a hello to the guys.
I finished cleaning the church and walked home. I never told anyone. The next morning he walked past me on the bus and smiled. I wanted to throw up. Later I saw my friend Holly in study hall. She came over to me and said, “Granville said he tried to rape you and that’s why he is all cut up.” I was mortified and denied it. I know Holly was just trying to be a good friend, but I was ashamed.
I no longer feel ashamed as I realize I did nothing wrong and certainly didn’t encourage his behavior. Too many women become silent victims in physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Until this stops, crimes against women continue to go unreported, devastating them and ruining their life. I was lucky that day and I count my blessings.
~P.
girlboxer1970 
Wow…I always thought Marc was nice. I can’t believe he didnt help. I’m so sorry Pattie
Thank you Jodie…I’m not sure why Marc did help. He didn’t come inside so he couldn’t see what all was happening….
Marc did not help because he was not present on this day, not in the building, not on the church grounds, not with the Danners ever. Please, Jodie, do not believe one person’s account of events. She may not be clear about the facts.
Uh, Marc was there. I’m not recanting. I’m sorry if your husband has forgotten. It wasn’t traumatic for him.
Verify and check? Maybe it happened? It was a first hand experience Michelle. I’m sure none of those three want to say they were there but the TRUTH is they were.
~P.
Wow never knew that happened. Girl why did you not come to me? We could’ve got through that together. Ok let’s hunt them all down and beat them up. I’m with ya girl. Love ya bunches
No one knew that happened. I don’t know why I didn’t tell anyone. I was ashamed for no reason. I pray Granville didn’t continue this type of behavior as an adult. I was about 15 when this happened. If he was doing that at 15….Lord knows what he grew into. ~P.
I agree that too many women are silent victims of abuse. However, there are also women who for whatever reason, falsely accuse or slander others within their accounts. While I cannot say there are no “facts” in your recounting of this tale, I can state that you have certainly not “remember(ed) it clearly.” First, Marc was not friends with, nor did he ever hang out with the Danner boys. Yes, we all lived in the same area, but the last he remembers seeing either of them was when he was 11 or 12 years old. Second, he is a man of honor and would never, and I mean never, have stood by if he knew something like this had occurred. Anyone who truly knew then or now knows him would know this to be true. Some may say that because I am Marc’s wife, naturally I would come to his defense, but as I was cited in this article as having spoken to Shawn, my brother, and Marc, my husband, regarding this supposed incident, I can wholeheartedly deny that claim. Today, July 18, 2012, is the first I have ever heard this creative tale. And, sadly, that is what you have created, Pattie. A creative, but not factual, tale. And in doing so you have defamed the character of a very good man.
I, as a woman, feel very bad that maybe something occurred to you that day. However, understand that by inserting names into your written story without verifying or fact-checking is libel. Ask your professors if this would not be a legal issue. I can answer that–yes.
Women who have been abused suffer and their lives are devastated. This is a fact! Now, consider that you, by naming people publicly and falsely, have potentially devastated and ruined their lives as well. You have become the perpetrator. That is sad and disgusting! What you publish on your blog and on facebook may be your constitutional right of free speech, but when it harms innocent people, you have gone too far. You owe an apology.
But what I would like to see, even more than an apology, is for you to recant this entire “story.” Remove it from your blog, remove the links to it on your other accounts, remove its existence. If you feel the need to join the sisterhood of women with your story, do so without slandering others in the process.
I’m taking a guess at our ages back then as kids. I don’t know where your going with this “sisterhood of women” thing but it sounds like you would rather girls not speak up when something bad happens. I never said Marc tried to rape me. I just said he didn’t try to help, period. Now as an adult, perhaps he would react differently but as a kid, he did nothing but sit on his bike outside the far window on the left hand side of the church that looks out directly to the graveyard. I can even give more detail if you really think I’m making this up. Like I had on Jordace jeans with a white belt and at one point in the nursery I contemplated using the offering plate (brass with red velvet lining) to bash Granville over the head…
Most definitely women should speak up. With the truth! What your blog readers should know is that if they would ask at least four of the people you named in this article, none of them can or would corroborate your story. Sad, but true. I do not want, nor need your details. What may have occurred inside that building is not being contested. I have no way of verifying that information as I did not then nor now know any of the Danners. However, I do know others you named. That is the issue. The lies therein that have been published by you. Joining fiction with fact is the problem.
I think it just unnerves you because it IS the truth.
You have just slandered my whole family. And told alot of lies. You say you love your Mother. She would be just as mortified as I am in what you are writing. I am not saying Danner is innocent,I know they were a bad bunch. But why are you dragging good friends in the mud. Are you really that crazy now!?or have you got it in for M,M,and S? Did you set your mind to hurting them all by your lies?Did you forget I knew all of you as you grew up and heard and knew alot of things. Had this been one of them I would not of kept quiet. I am so dissapointed in you. I always liked you,but you have really hurt me and my family by smearing their names on your blog and facebook. SHAME on you! How would like it if everyone from your past would start blogging about the real you!?
You know what….you can say whatever you want about me…present or past. I certainly didn’t write that post to hurt ANYONE’S family. It happened and I’m not worried about you suing me…I have nothing to sue for. The only person who really should be ashamed is Granville, though I doubt he would. Just because you all are freaking out that Marc didn’t do anything is no reason to say I’m lying.
EVER THINK HE’S LYING TO COVER HIS UNHELPFUL ASS? I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE HE HASN’T SAID A WORD….HMMMMMMM
No, I didn’t forget anything and sorry you are disappointed. Turn the tables and I bet MY mom would be hurt knowing what took place in the church. Now that you all made a big deal about the boys who did nothing years ago. I hope if something ever happens to your children or grandchildren someone is big enough to help them cause NO ONE was there for me.
SO SHAME ON ALL OF YOU FOR WANTING TO COVER UP THE TRUTH BY SAYING I’M A LIAR.
I have moved past this horrible encounter and have no bad feelings towards Marc because we were all kids and this kind of stuff just didn’t happen. I don’t have it in for ANYONE, I just want kids to know they need to report if they are attacked. ~P.
I have started to do some fact-checking of my own. You claim to have been “about 15” when this alleged incident occurred. That would have put the year around 1985. From what I can find so far the Danner family moved from the area around 1978/1979. Also, there has been no one that can verify you having cleaned the church. I will continue this until I have enough to prove libel and will be talking to the district attorney regarding our rights in this situation. Please reconsider your position on this.
Hey Michelle, thanks for caring. Let me know when you realize I’m not making this up. Good luck with your investigation. You’re going to need it. For now, I’ll remove his last name until the DA tells me I’m under investigation for alleging Marc did nothing. Then maybe I’ll remove the blog. I have a feeling the DA isn’t going to have time for your charge of libel/slander.
I didn’t write this to piss off my old neighbors but I guess that’s what happens when the truth hurts them more than yourself.
The last word about all this is-“God knows the truth”. I will pray for you.
Thank you….still doesn’t mean I was lying. Maybe pray for your family members too….
Pattie, I do care. From the beginning all that I and others mentioned wanted was for the names to be removed. Yes, I did some checking into the story because I know that certain details you wrote were not true. As for the actual incident with Granville, I am not saying that it did not happen. For that I am so very sorry for you. Just that recording it in the way that you did was doing more harm than I believe you realized or, hopefully, intended. For all involved, not just for Marc. As for the district attorney, I agree that he may not have taken the case if I pursued this. Partly because my goal is not monetary, but to have libel and a form of cyber-bullying removed. So, in that sense, thank you. I appreciate your help. I am not, nor was I ever, asking to have your entire blog removed. Obviously it is a writing outlet, a way to pursue your passion. I wish you luck. However, just please, please, when you write use pseudonyms, initials, or first names only. Don’t endanger others to pursue your goal.
I also would applaud your desire to be an advocate for women and victims of violence. Throughout this I never questioned that part of your writing. Please continue with that goal. Women and children need to report crimes, to find someone to help them, to not be ashamed, to get therapy to help them deal with the trauma. In that I would stand beside you, shouting my support.
Thank you Michelle…as I said, it never meant to be hurtful to anyone. While I am 100% positive everything I wrote is true, whether I had my exact age right or not (it was middle school) it did happen and those 3 were there. I can’t help if someone doesn’t remember or denies their presence.
I have been friends with your family FOREVER and think of your brother as a brother. Had it been him there I honestly don’t think it would have happened at all because he would have stopped it. I barely knew Marc even though he lived so close and I harbor no hard feelings towards him.
As your mom said, God knows the truth. I have no problems answering to him.
God Bless