Tesla has started asking when she goes back to her dads.  I told her Monday night after dance.  The new custody schedule is going to be very hard for her and I.  She won’t be spending the night with her mom and that really bothers her.

She asked me why she has to live with her dad during the week.  I explained that her dad and I could not agree on who she should live with so a judge in a courthouse decided that she should live with her dad.  She looked right at me and said, “That’s not what I wanted.  I want to live with you.”

This is probably the hardest pill I’ve ever had to swallow.  It didn’t get any easier when Tesla told me “you didn’t try your best to win” while tears streamed down her face.

I tried and I had Tesla’s best interest in mind.  I feel I failed her at this point, but there is always tomorrow.

I dried her tears and assured her we will see each other plenty.  There will never be a doubt in her mind that her momma loves her.

Someday she will understand.  He who has the $$$$ manages to get his way.  I doubt he will continue to pay anything towards support except his arrears.  Since we are not divorced he will still have that $52 a month spousal support.  What a JOKE!?

For now, she’s back to smiling.

~P.

Update:  Since John picked Tesla up I have been allowed to talk to Tesla 4 very brief times while John and Heather sat beside TT.  So far he has refused to let me see her in person.

What a dick.