Tidbits I’ve recently learned

I talk to a crazy number of people. I’m a people person. I love them, they love me. I hear stories.

A friend recently had knee surgery. Her healing process was going well, and she was up and about in her home, getting stronger each day. Until the spider happened. A spider that made her say, “no fucking way are you gonna continue to live.” Since she was in her slippers, she wisely chose to fetch a sneaker, a sturdier killing weapon, by far.

She snuck up on that spider, giving it a hard look, with an additional, “Jesus, you are ugly” to be clear of her disapproval of the intruder. Just as she raised her rubber mallet footwear, the spider jumped at her. It wasn’t going down without a fight. She jump backwards, forgetting her crippled state, and shooting pain took the forefront. And the spider, was still alive.

She called for her son, and he arrived at her home just in time to beat the shit out of the offending spider, and to call an ambulance for his mom.

Lesson learned: Let the spider live. It’s a big house.

Another friend told me how he was chasing a suspect across a field. He could feel his pants begin to slip down the back as he ran, caused his heavy tool belt. He reached back to snatch up his pants, but wasn’t quite fast enough. His tool belt panted him mid-dash and anyone watching would have seen his cheeks snuggled in neon green boxer briefs for a flash, before he yanked them back up, without missing a step. Now that’s a pro.

Lesson learned: Take that belt in a notch.

Lastly, a friend recently failed a drug test. Not that the urine was dirty, it was clean. Heck, it wasn’t even real. But, what is wasn’t, was warm enough. Not to temp is an auto fail.

Second lesson learned: Use the prison wallet to ensure temp.

That’s enough tidbits for the day. I’ll always have more.

~P.

%d bloggers like this: