Dear Heather,

Yesterday, after I dropped Tesla back off at 7:04, I had to restrain myself from laughing my ass off at you, as you made stupid faces at me.  WTH?  I was trying to get you to pull out onto the road because you were blocking my sight of view.  Imagine my joy when instead, you start making stupid faces.  Holy cow that was awesome!  Some might even say an amusing improvement.

Was this some twisted elementary school game of “You go first!  No YOU go first!”  I didn’t care who went first, but it would have made the most sense if you had waited until I pulled out of the driveway and left.  This way you could have avoided driving through the yard and spinning in the grass.  Did you get yelled at or didn’t John even notice the bare patches of dirt?

John was pretty pumped up for his game, wearing his green uniform; he looked like an elf.  It’s the ears.  Did you ever notice how his ears are pointy?  Tesla’s are like that too, well, one of them anyway.

So you were in such a rush to get out of there (I got a warning phone call from John so you must of been pitching a fit when I was 3 minutes late) but then you stop at the top of the yard and insist I pull out.  I swear you stopped because you knew you were tearing up my yard trying to drive a mini-van full of kids to the road.  What was the big hurry, other than leaving with my child as quickly as possible but making sure I knew YOU were in charge of Tesla and not me?  Later, when John told me you went to the park, I was annoyed.  Why don’t you go to John’s games?  Take the whole crew to the games…there is a park there!  It’s so crystal clear that you two are determined to limit my time with Tesla.  I can not wait for her school to let out.  And the stupid faces as I pulled out… just made me realize just how immature you are.  All this bullshit over Tesla’s clothes, sneakers, etc. is just your immaturity showing in a situation you shouldn’t even be in.

Keep up the faces….I enjoy them even more than your angry, indignant look.

Oh….if your mommy never told you…One of these times your face will stay like that.

~P.